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Jokes
Mar 31, 2007 21:21:26 GMT 10
Post by steven on Mar 31, 2007 21:21:26 GMT 10
Flying With the Pope!
A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight.
"This is exciting," thought the gentleman. I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person. Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. This is fantastic, thought the gentleman. I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance.
Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'u-n-t'?"
Only one word leapt to mind...my goodness, thought the gentleman, I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another. The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it hit him. Turning to the pope, the gentleman said, "I think you're looking for the word 'aunt'."
"Of course," said the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?"
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Jokes
Mar 31, 2007 21:25:47 GMT 10
Post by steven on Mar 31, 2007 21:25:47 GMT 10
an asian guy is skipping rocks in a lake, and a black guy comes up and says, "what are you doing?" the asian guy replies, "i'm skipping rocks in this lake. when you do that, it tells you the names of your ancestors. watch." so the asian guy skips a rock into th lake and it goes, "chin..dong...wang..."
the black guy says, "wow! thats so cool! let me try." so he throws a rock in the lake and it goes, "chim...pan...zee..." he gets confused and says, "that cant be right let me try again. he throws another one in the lake, "chim...pan...zee..." so then he gets angry and throws a boulder into the lake, and it goes 'BABOON!!!!'
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Jokes
Mar 31, 2007 21:33:21 GMT 10
Post by steven on Mar 31, 2007 21:33:21 GMT 10
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jackasses, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."
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Jokes
Mar 31, 2007 22:17:10 GMT 10
Post by Lei on Mar 31, 2007 22:17:10 GMT 10
wahahhahah second on is sooo racist!!!!!!
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Jokes
Mar 31, 2007 22:55:57 GMT 10
Post by steven on Mar 31, 2007 22:55:57 GMT 10
hehe
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Lynn
great person
Posts: 75
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Jokes
Apr 1, 2007 6:07:02 GMT 10
Post by Lynn on Apr 1, 2007 6:07:02 GMT 10
lol preetty goood
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Jokes
Apr 3, 2007 20:00:23 GMT 10
Post by Lei on Apr 3, 2007 20:00:23 GMT 10
A man walks into a music store and wants to buy a good, old-fashioned vinyl record. He gets the record and is ready to check out when he discovers that he forgot his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decides to steal the record. So he sticks it down his pants.
Of course, the cashier spots him on the way out and says, "Hey! Is that a record in your pants?"
The man replies, "Well, it may not be a record but I haven't heard any complaints."
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Jokes
Apr 5, 2007 0:43:54 GMT 10
Post by KvizL on Apr 5, 2007 0:43:54 GMT 10
lmao, nice jokes.
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Jokes
Apr 5, 2007 21:44:59 GMT 10
Post by Lei on Apr 5, 2007 21:44:59 GMT 10
AHUH SURE ARE~
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Jokes
Apr 17, 2007 17:54:28 GMT 10
Post by steven on Apr 17, 2007 17:54:28 GMT 10
A naughty kid called Johnny Deeper was in detention for being bad. He asked his teacher "Teacher can you take your blouse and skirt off?". "Of course not! Are you crazy?" she answered. "Ill tell my mommy, my daddy, and the principal that you hit me if you don't!" he yelled while he slapped his hand with a ruler. "Ok..." she said. Then he asked "Teacher can you take your bras and panties off?" "What the...NO!" Answered the teacher. "Ill tell my mommy, my daddy, and the principal that you hit me if you don't!" he yelled while he slapped his cheek with a ruler.
Johnny's mom and dad were speaking to the principal while they walked to the detention class. when they opened the door they saw Johnny having sex with the teacher. "JOHNNY DEEPER!" Yelled his mom. "JOHNNY DEEPER!" Yelled his dad. "Mommy! Daddy! I cant go any deeper!" he replied back.
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Jokes
Apr 17, 2007 17:56:23 GMT 10
Post by steven on Apr 17, 2007 17:56:23 GMT 10
True story: My friend Jonathan, hated his aunt. The day of his cousin's wedding, his aunt pads him on the shoulder and said "Don't worry, you're next". At his brother's wedding, she did the same thing, *pads shoulder*, "Don't worry, you're next". On the day of his aunt's friend's funeral, he pads on her shoulder and said "Don't worry, you're next".
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Jokes
Apr 17, 2007 17:57:19 GMT 10
Post by steven on Apr 17, 2007 17:57:19 GMT 10
Winnie Pooh A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.
She asked John what he had done over the weekend? "I went to visit my Nana." No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use ‘Big People' words!"
She then asked Mitchell what he had done "I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words."
She then asked little Alex what he had done? "I read a book," he replied.
That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great Pride, and said, "Winnie the.....SHIT"
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Jokes
Apr 17, 2007 17:59:03 GMT 10
Post by steven on Apr 17, 2007 17:59:03 GMT 10
A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City& asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks & needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title & everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president & its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage & parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Chinese man returns, repays the $5,000 & the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out & found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow 5,000?"
The Chinese man replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks, for only $15.41, & expect it to be there when I return?"
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Jokes
Apr 17, 2007 18:02:59 GMT 10
Post by steven on Apr 17, 2007 18:02:59 GMT 10
There were 3 people in a plane; Michael Jackson, a pilot and a little boy.
The plane was about to crash and theres was only two parachutes left. The pilot said 'one for me and one for you micheal' then michael said ' but what about the kid?'. The pilot said 'fuck it'. Just as the pilot was about to jump off michael asked 'how much time do we have left?'
( Some of you might not get this ) -_-
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Jokes
Apr 17, 2007 20:40:51 GMT 10
Post by Lei on Apr 17, 2007 20:40:51 GMT 10
hahah i get it!!!!! thats dirty as/... wahahh asian one is funny tooo.. hahaha... they are tight... lol
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